


Misery's Rhapsody

by writeyourownlifestory



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF
Genre: F/M, Joe Mazzello/Original Female Character, Kidnapping, M/M, Murder, Obsession, Possible Dub-Con, psychotic tendencies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2019-11-27 10:12:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18193223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writeyourownlifestory/pseuds/writeyourownlifestory
Summary: Joe is lonely. Pathetically so.Cue Ben, a young blond bombshell, satisfying all willing to pay for his time, but unable to satisfy himself in love and in life.In a cruel twist of fate, Joe hires Ben and becomes utterly captivated by him and Ben, well…he’s captive all right.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Before we begin, allow me to say that this story is far darker than any other that I have written. Due to the hearts I broke with WEBOMH, I chose not to spring any surprising tags on you guys. Just please, do read beforehand. I am sure there are darker fics out there, but I just wanted to get that warning out there now. 
> 
> This came from the mind of Lis-Eve (Angels to Fly) and myself, so please enjoy.

 

There was burning inside Joe Mazzello. One thats flames could not be extinguished easily. Pain and suffering that so many experienced yet to was the loneliest thing in the world. Yes, the true loneliness that burrowed deep inside Joe; the lingering darkness that kept him from achieving any true sense of normalcy.

He would sit in the dark, staring out into the nothingness that surrounded him. He had tried to sleep, but such things did not come easily to him. Not when the anguish and resentment would lay dormant in the back of his mind.

He felt guilty for feeling such a way. Forgiving into his sadness. There were so many other people in the world who dealt with the same issues he did, but even on a good day, Joe could be selfish. Thinking of himself was nothing new to the man, though he hid that side of himself well enough.

He would smile when he’d go out. Put on a good show for the people around him. He could play the part they wanted him to play, but the moment he stopped over the threshold of his home, the truth was revealed.

He would lie awake at night, clutching the cold, damp sheets as he would weep into his pillow. He cried often, though he never said a word of it to anyone. Not that anyone would care. Joe didn’t have a true friend in the world and he knew that for a fact.

Every person he interacted with was fake, but then again, so was he. They were all playing a role. All pretending to be somebody they weren’t. Whether it was the faithful husband, devoted girlfriend, or even loyal employee. Everybody had something to hide, including Joe.

He hid his true feelings. How angry he was at the world for giving him nothing but agony. He was a good person. He helped little old ladies cross the street and were never late to work. He always leaves a penny, but never take one. He supported charities and gave up his seat on the bus.

He was not asking for much. Not for world peace or even a true sense of belonging. No, he just wanted the pain to stop. For his mind to stop wandering. He had tried to take pills. Morphine, especially. It was easy to get and nobody expected him to be popping pills.

He didn’t look like a tweaker and he wasn’t one. He didn’t do it on the daily. Barely even weekly. Just on the days when it was too much to bear. When the screaming into his pillow was too much to take. He wasn’t an addict and he’d quit when he found a solution. Until that day came, he played his cards right and carried on with his mediocre life.

He had tried things like alcohol and harder drugs, but nothing stuck. Pot doesn't do jack shit for him and he wasn’t into alcohol. He preferred wine. It was distinguished and delicious. The heroine wasn’t going to make the thoughts go away, not the way morphine did. Cocaine was out of the question and also far too out of pocket.

Joe had good money and made a decent wage as the hospitals leading anesthesiologist. He worked four days a week, give or take when he was needed. The hours ranged depending on how often they needed him. He came from money and as the oldest male, he was given a large inheritance upon his father’s death. He had tried to buy himself happiness once before in the way of paintings and theatre, but nothing worked. He was miserable everywhere, even on Broadway.

People trusted him with their lives and he did not let them down, even if each and every patient that passed on brought a strange sense of jealousy from the man. Joe wasn’t suicidal, but rather envious. Dying naturally seemed like such sweet relief.

He worked long shifts, between twelve and even twenty-four hours, but sometimes not long enough. He would do what he needed to do in order to get his job done. Sometimes he stayed awake for days on end. He didn’t mind. He was focused even in the darkness. He preferred to be at the hospital rather than his own home.

In his own bedroom where the echoing of the silence that surrounded him was near deafening. Joe lived in constant fear that this world that he had created around himself would be the only one he’d ever experience.

He did not remember a time before this. A time when he was happy and ready to take on the world. Perhaps when he was a child and life still surprised him? Now everything was grim and repetitive. The nosy coworkers that would come in with their Starbucks lattes and talk about things they had no reason to talk about.

How they would act like Joe was apart of the group and invite him out for drinks and laughs. He would always decline, but the invitations would carry on. He made himself likable enough to always be invited even if he never actually went anywhere.

He thought about it a time or two. After all, if he went out then the possibility of actually feeling something other than the ugly melancholy that haunted him would be higher. Still, he always declined. That was not what he wanted for himself. To force himself out of the house to eat and drink, living his best life at half off apps, while on the inside he was crumbling to pieces.

When he could sleep, it would be for hours on hand. Perhaps even a day or so. There would be no dreaming, however. Just an active-less slumber that would come and go as he drifted off through the world.

He was like the human version of a sloth, but far more self-loathing. Sleeping and eating just to survive, even if you had no true purpose in life.

Joe knew there was something out there for him. That he had a life beyond the four walls that surrounded him daily. And someday he would find it.

Until that day arrived, he accepted the pain that came his way and shuttered into the darkness, becoming one with the lackluster things he was feeling.

It accepted the monster that lived under his bed and waited ever so patiently for his life to begin. 


	2. Chapter 2

She had always been a cold woman. Very rude. Very forward. At first, Joe admired her for it. She didn’t give a single fuck about anybody. Not her clients. Not her boss. Not even Joe. He didn’t know what she saw in him, especially since she seemed to judge every little thing he did.

They met through friends and while they didn’t automatically hit it off, being with her just seemed right. Not natural or comfortable, but it made sense. They were both good at what they were trained to do. She worked in the city; a young hotshot executive for a company whose name constantly escaped the man.

She made good money and showed it off proudly. She didn’t need a rich man to dote upon her but she liked it when they did. Joe had bought her many things; dozens of sparkly objects that she could show off to her friends and coworkers. Joe had no idea if she even liked the items he had chosen or if she even kept them.

He didn’t go to her place often. She was fine with stopping by his own apartment though she would never save her breath when it came to commenting on this and that. Joe knew he didn’t have style. It was apart of his aesthetic. He was clueless and bland, but he had money and was decently handsome.

His girlfriend cared enough about him and that was why he stuck around. Sometimes he wondered if she was ever with other men. Sometimes he wished she was. It would give him leverage to break up with her. For now, he had no reason to.

They looked good together. Her hair and eyes were dark, and her lips were always red. She dressed to impress and never bothered to check the price tags. She could pay her own way with ease. She would try to split the bill when they went out or sometimes she would even pay before he could grab his wallet.

She was an independent woman and while that may have been a turn on in the beginning, Joe found himself aching for more. He wanted to take care of someone. To make them feel special and important.

He wanted to be the big man on campus. To be the savior. He wanted to matter to someone but it seemed that just wasn’t in the cards for him. He cared enough to make his girlfriend stick around but ever for long. They both lived busy lives. Joe understood that completely.

He likes when she was away. Sometimes he would pretend like they were long distance. It made it easier when he tried to miss her and eventually saw her once more. They would have sex and make out but Joe never gave a damn.

He felt nothing when they would touch one another. At times he would describe it as if he had used his own numb hand to jerk himself off. Cold to the touch, but familiar. He hated it but not enough to push her away.

Together they were the means to an end and while Joe wasn’t satisfied it was still not something he was ready to walk away from just yet. He knew it was wrong but he wasn’t ready to be completely alone.

Even when she sat across from him, commenting on his clothing and the way he presented himself. All the mean things she would mention so casually like it was second nature to her. It was still attention. It was still a companionship. Joe did not know what he would be like if he was single again. He wasn’t happy.

He may not be happy now but at least he has someone to talk to. She may not completely care but she shows up every then and then and makes his dick hard enough.

He would not lie however and say he hasn’t thought of others. He has never attempted to cheat but his mind has drifted over time. He had seen other people in the street and thought about what it would be like to have them as his partner.

He would imagine a life with a complete stranger, and find that sometimes just imagining it was good enough. He had thought about straying. About going to a bar and picking someone up. Taking them home and having sex but he never had the nerve.

He had called some sex phone lines not too long ago but it wasn’t enough. He would tell they were faking it. Making it over dramatic with their moans and whines. He hung up, not even caring how much he spent at that point. Keep his fucking money.

He would go onto websites for people looking for a good time. Sugar daddy websites or places like Ashley Madison. He showered the web and found placed for people who would accept money in return for affection. It was an honest way of living without having to be honest at all. Pretending you cared about someone was easy. Joe did it every single day.

He never made any moves. He would just watch the videos and see the pictures. They were all pretty and perfect. Like dolls brought to life for people like him to play with. Sad and lonely and rich.

He would scroll down through the choices, trying to peek his interest but it rarely ever worked.

Until he found him.

His name was Ben. He was London born and made his way to America. He did a bit of modeling and posted professional pictures. He also shared some that were a bit more candid. Blond and beautiful. No beautiful wasn’t the word. He was more than that. He was gorgeous. Heaven sent.

Joe scrolled and scrolled and searched. He found every piece of content he could on the man. Joe wasn’t a hacker but he knew how to Google search someone well enough. It took almost an hour but he found the man’s personal Instagram. It was private, and while his finger was itching to press the “request to follow” button he stopped himself.

He went back to the website and found his rates. One night was rather pricy, but Joe knew he would be worth it. He had easy to understand rules. No marking. No videos or pictures. He was very strict about this and Joe agreed.

His hand twitched as he wrote up the message. He erased and began again, erased and began again. Three times before finally getting the message right. He was interested in a date with the man. Something casual, like dinner. He had his work schedule but they would find something around that. However, he knew that wasn’t the style of this. It was meant to be sex and nothing more.

Within ten minutes he got a response. Ben was kind yet professional, going over his extended rules. Joe agreed to them all.

When he told Joe when he’d be available, the man made a mental note of it. He looked at his own calendar and chose the day that would work for them both. Ben agreed and the date was set.

The entire week was torture for the man. He dragged himself through life, through his every day activities. He spoke to those he worked with but never about anything that mattered to him. He went to dinner with his girlfriend but she ran the conversation. He would reply when he knew she wanted him to and would say whatever it was he knew she wanted to hear.

He brought her back to his place and they had sex. She was on top but not in the way Joe longed for. Maybe if they had tried to be adventurous. If she pegged him, made him work for it, then maybe he’d feel something.

Instead now he was going through the motions. Holding onto her as she used him for whatever she wanted. When morning cane he dropped her off at the train station. The weekend was over and life for her was back to business. She’d stay in the city and the following weekend he would come to see her. It was their scheduled lives. Back and forth, back and forth.

Neither would give up their place because they weren’t ready to. Maybe they’d get married and settle for one another. Maybe they’d mess up and shed get pregnant.

No. That wouldn’t happen. Joe was careful. Always, always so careful.

When she left, he kissed her. Gone were the days when they would get frisky and touchy. Joe wasn’t the same guy he used to be. He didn’t finger her in the train ride in because he didn’t ride in with her. She’d be on her own and he’d see her in five days.

Joe would go back home. Alone as ever. Except for this time he wouldn’t be alone.

Monday night was date night with Ben. And Joe couldn’t be more excited. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a reason we didn't name his girlfriend. Joe doesn't see her as a person. She's his girlfriend. She's 'that woman'
> 
> Ben will have a name. He will be someone Joe thinks of often. 
> 
> Maybe a little too often.


	3. Chapter 3

It was sex. Thats all it was. Joe knew that perfectly well enough. Casual sex that he was paying for. He would meet the man, this Ben, and they’d have sex. They’d fuck until the fucking sun was rising high in the sky and then they’d never see one another after that.

Joe hoped desperately that when this was over, that whatever darkness was looming inside of him would finally disintegrate. That he could move on from this endless loop, this terrible funk, and finally go on with his life.

His apartment was already spotless, mostly due to never really being in it. He was at work or in his bedroom. He didn’t have many friends and the ones he did have never came over. They’d meet up at bars or go out to dinner.

His girlfriend wasn’t a messy person and never left any of her things. It was an easy cleanup. His walls were bare except for his degrees that he hung up proudly. He didn’t have any family photos to share with guest nor any memorabilia to boast about. All he had was a baseball bat that his father had given him when he was a child, hanging up on the wall.

He was suddenly self-conscious about his home, but it wasn’t like he had time to change any of that. There was a knock on the door and all Joe could do now was answer it.

He looked himself over, again and again, trying to remind himself to stay calm and collected. Ben had written on his profile that his main turn off was someone who wasn’t comfortable in his own skin.

He checked himself out in the mirror, overlooking his outfit of choice. Black pants and a button-down shirt. It was respectable and professional and he had to look good in it. His girlfriend never complained and she was always one to pick and prod at something he had done wrong.

Going to the door, Joe took one final breath and said one final prayer before answering it.

The copper-haired man paused, his hazel eyes meeting the greenest pair he had ever seen.

He was here, standing before him. Not in the pictures that he had on his page or the profile picture he used for his Instagram account. He was gorgeous in pictures, but in real life, standing here like a fucking statue, it was beyond words. Joe had no way to describe him. Perfection just wasn’t good enough.

He was a living, breathing Greek God. Adonis in the fucking flesh.

“I take it you are Joseph.” A deep voice escaped behind the beautiful red lips.

Joe swallowed, coming up with a casual smile. “And you’re Ben.” He responded, stepping aside so he could open the door a bit more, allowing the man to slip inside. “Please, come in.”

He kept his eyes trained on the blond, watching his every move as he entered. Ben was dressed smartly, choosing clothing that fit his body well enough. Joe had seen in pictures just what he was hiding underneath and he was certain he’d see even more soon enough.

“Can I get you anything to drink?” He offered, closing the door behind him.

He had wine for the rare moments he had company over and some stuff that was a bit stronger for when he was alone.

“I’m fine thanks.” The Brit answered. That fucking accent.

Oh fuck, Joe was weak in the knees. He had mentioned on his profile that he was from London and while Joe had heard British accents in the past, these were something different about Ben’s. His voice was low and the way his tongues curled and rolled over some of the words he was saying.

Joe just bobbed his head, following him deeper into the place. “Please, make yourself comfortable.”

He gestured lamely, unsure if he would want to sit and talk or jump right into it.

“I take it this is your first time,” Ben muttered, turning back to face him.

“First time…ever? No.” Joe shook his head swiftly. “I’m . . . I’ve never been with a guy before, but I’m not a virgin.”

“I meant with someone like me,” Ben told him. His smile was small. Teasing, yet understanding.

Joe lowered his shoulders, his hand coming to rub the back of his neck. “Is it obvious?”

Ben pulled off his jacket, tossing it onto the back of the couch. “You have nothing to worry about Joe. I’m very good at what I do.”

Joe bobbed his head. Of course, he was. He did this for a living. Giving those who were willing to pay the time of their lives. Joe would be one of those guys tonight. He charged three hundred for a night. Joe had spent more on less.

Ben approaches him, his green eyes practically set ablaze as he came closer. Joe kept his composure, refusing to falter in front of him.

“Are you sure you don’t want a drink? You seem nervous.”

Joe rolled his eyes, though a small smile came across his lips. “And whose fault is that?”

“This is your night, Joe. Tonight I am all yours. We can do whatever you want.”

“Anything?”

Ben hummed. Joe knew there were things he was against. He had read it all on his profile but that was fine. Joe wasn’t going to push his limits. Wasn’t going to go out of either of their comfort zones. This was supposed to be fun. Comfortable.

Joe decided to make the first move, though Ben wasn’t far behind him. He moved forward, closing the space between them with a much-needed kiss. Ben followed in suit, his arms draping around Joe’s shoulders.

The kiss was slow and sensual. Joe couldn’t remember the last time he kissed someone with such earnest. Not his girlfriend. Never her. Or even anybody else he had been involved with. The kiss continued on and on, becoming more needy and desperate as they continued. Soon enough Joe was pulling on Ben’s clothing trying to undress him with there in the living room.

Ben chuckled at him and it was a sound Joe wanted to hear against and again. Eventually, they made it to his bedroom. He had everything ready. Condoms and line sitting up on his nightstand.

Ben had said on his profile that he was a switch and while the idea of withering underneath him seemed like a dream, Joe had never been with a man before. Everything was fresh and new and he wanted to take it one step at a time.

That was the plan anyway. In the end, it just turned out to be them ripping away their clothing and falling onto the bed. Ben was more than happy to bottom out this time around. If Ben looked like an angel with clothes on, there was no possible way to describe him when he was lying naked there on the bed.

He was there, in Joe’s bed, with his hand on his cock and his pretty red lips whispering Joe’s name. It was a true mystery that Joe didn’t cum in his boxers. Joe just kept kissing him, unable to stop himself.

He lowered himself down and down, kissing along Ben’s jawline and chest. His body was rock solid, unlike the softness of his girlfriend. That woman had never enjoyed taking it slow and embracing the little things. The foreplay he could come up with. She wanted to fuck and move on. Joe wanted something so much more.

Joe knew he could go on and on in his mind thinking of the differences between the two, but it wasn’t worth it.

Why think about such things when he could be doing something far, far better?

Joe didn’t have any second thoughts about wrapping his mouth around Ben’s hardening cock. He may have never done it before, but it didn’t take a professional to know how to do it. Keep the teeth at bay, keep your lips moist. Joe had a wide mouth and used it to his advantage.

He sucked Ben slowly, starting it off right and getting a feel. He felt heavy and hot on his tongue and the sounds Ben was taking were enough to keep him going. Joe wondered if anybody had ever put any effort into making Ben feel good, making Ben feel right. He was paid to give others a good time, but did he ever get any enjoyment out of it?

He bobbed his head faster and faster, his fingers gripping tightly onto Ben’s thighs. He prayed he left marks there, little reminders for the blond to have when this was over. Ben meanwhile was cursing and whimpering above him, tugging on his hair this way and that way. It felt better than he had ever felt.

When the blond finished, Joe didn’t pull off. He swallowed down what he could and anything else fell down his cheek. The taste of cum was warm and a bit sour, but he liked it. Ben was left panting on the bed, his chest rising and falling.

“Did you enjoy yourself, Ben?” Joe muttered quietly. He realized he didn’t know his last name, but that didn’t matter right now.

“That was . . . magnificent.” Ben answered, obviously out of breath. “You sure you’ve never done that before?”

“First time ever,” Joe answered him.

Ben leaned up on his arms, moving to sit up. His tongue licked across the side of Joe’s jaw, scooping up the cum that had dripped out. It was by far the hottest thing Joe had ever seen. The sight alone should have made him finish, but he wasn’t done yet.

“Are you ready for some fun, Joseph?” Ben whispered slowly.

His voice sounded like honey dripping from Joe’s ears. Joe kissed him deeply, their tongues rolling together effortlessly. Ben pulled the other man on top of him, his knees engaging him comfortably.

Joe blindly reached out to take the container of lube and poured it onto his fingers. He just kept kissing Ben, allowing his fingers to do the work. The sounds Ben made . . . christ, he wanted to record it and listen to them on repeat. It was wonderful.

Hot and heavy and sexy. And when he was finished prepping him, when Ben was practically begging him for more, Joe knew he wasn’t going to last as long as he wanted to.

But he would try.

Cock hard, condom on. Joe pushed inside the slick man, entering actual nirvana. He was tight and hot and Joe practically screamed against his lips, forcing Ben to swallow all his sounds. They started off slow, just working one another up until he began moving faster and faster.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had sex that was so intense. For so long he had accepted the casual garbage. The dry handjobs in the back of the car while you thought of other things. Settling for whatever you could get.

And here he was now, deep inside the most beautiful man he had ever seen. This man, Ben, was allowing him to fuck him without care, without thought. But Joe did care and he had many thoughts.

By the time they finished, Joe knew he was so fucked for this man. Ben had gotten hard once again and the two worked together, pumping his cock in their fist until he finished on their stomachs. Joe came deep inside of Ben, inside the condom. He pulled it off and tied it off, tossing it into the trash can across the room.

He looked at Ben, who was lying across the bed. Hot and heavy and completely destroyed. “You are the loveliest thing I had ever seen,” Joe muttered softly.

A blush crept across Ben’s cheeks and Joe smiled at that. He had a real reaction, a good reaction. Joe crawled back onto the bed, his nose bumping against Ben’s as he gave a whisper of a kiss.

“Can I see you again?” He asked, hating himself for it.

He felt like a childish school girl with a crush. He didn’t want to seem desperate or pathetic, but he was hooked. Joe had never had sex like that. So wild and needy. The kissing and panting and touching. They had marked one another up carelessly and Ben was fucked beyond belief.

Joe wanted to do it again and again and again.

“You know where to find me,” Ben told him quietly. He sat up, already searching for his clothing. He didn’t stay the night, Joe knew that. It was on his page.

Joe shook his head, pulling back to look at him. “No. Let me take you out.” Joe told him quietly, deciding to go all out.

Ben paused, his expression somber. “I don’t do that stuff.” He told him quietly.

Joe shrugged it off. “First time for everything, isn’t it?” Crawling forward, he pulled Ben down to kiss him once more. Deep and full of passion. “Tomorrow. I’ll text you the place and the time. All you have to do is show up and I’ll take care of the rest.”

“Joe,” Ben sighed quietly.

Joe knew that tone. It was used when you put someone down. When you crush their dreams. Joe refused to take that. “Just think about it,” Joe told him. “If this was good, think how great dinner could be.” Joe kissed his cheek softly, slipping off the bed. He left and went into the bathroom to clean himself up.

When he returned to his room, Ben was gone, but his hope still remained.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning, after this chapter, things will get signicantly darker. The next one isn't the worst, but it kicks off the dark shit, so please enjoy this final slightly fluffy/fun chapter. 
> 
> PS, I don't condone cheating. Don't do that you fuckers.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second dates are always so much pressure.

Joe couldn’t remember the last time he was so nerves. He didn’t go on many first dates, but even on those, they were nothing to worry about. If something came from it, he’d be glad, but otherwise, he did not care too much. After all, there was plenty of fish in the sea.

But this man, Ben, was no ordinary fish. No, he was like a mythical creature. A mermaid of sorts. Merman, perhaps. Something so wild and beautiful, it didn’t even seem possible for him to truly exist.

But he did.

He had been waiting the few short days for this. He didn’t want to press his luck and jump the shark, hoping to give Ben a bit of time to think it over before throwing all caution to the wind and deciding on when and where they should go out.

He wasn’t going to pay for him. Sex was real, that much was true and he proudly paid for it without regret, but this would be different. This was a date. An honest to God date. He tried to relax, looking over the picture that he had saved on his phone from Ben’s Instagram page.

He had touched himself to it, imagining it was Ben. Other times he just stared at the image. The idea of waking up to a man like that wasn’t something Joe thought was possible. After all, Joe wasn’t some hopeless romantic.

Joe knew what he had paid for, but he also believed there was a connection between them. A spark that could not be denied. Joe set up a reservation at an Italian restaurant, having remembered Ben’s preferences from his page.

He had them tattooed on his mind. All the things Ben liked and disliked.

He liked to laugh and have a good time. He liked people who were relaxed and comfortable in their own skin. He liked Italian food and burgers. He liked classical theatre and rock music.

He disliked being treated like an object, of being reminded of how blessed he was of his own good looks. He disliked people who hated animals and people who went against his wishes.

He reminded himself that as he sat alone at the table, counting down the minutes. He arrived early, wanting to check and double check that everything was running smoothly. Joe couldn’t control the world around him, but it didn’t hurt to try.

He sipped slowly on his drink, the alcohol stinging his throat. He didn’t drink often, but every now and then he needed something to help him get the edge off. Tonight was one of those nights.

He refused to look at his watch or his phone. He kept his eyes on the number, pretending to think about what he wanted; weighing his options on this and that. He wouldn’t look desperate or depressed. He wouldn’t look like he was in need of rescuing. He would sit and wait and be as casual as a man could be as the minutes passed on.

He didn’t have a single worry in the world. Ben didn’t seem like the type to stand someone up. After all, weren’t all Englishmen supposed to be gents? And if by any possible chance he did get stood up, then Joe would survive it.

He was already drowning in his depression, in his melancholiness, in his mundane wasteland of life. This wouldn’t be anything new. In fact, it would be more surprising if he did arrive. If this turned out to be something wonderful and not some giant mistake.

If it turned out terrible, Joe would move on and sweep it under the rug. He’d carry on like he always did and pretend like this never happened. He would delete his browser history and buy his girlfriend that engagement ring and move into the city with her. He’d continue with his morphine and continue with his life.

He would be fine. He would be okay.

He would be-

“Joseph?”

Joe’s mind was screaming bloody murder, but the man just smiled and stood from his chair. “Ben,” He spoke carefully, unsure if he should shake his hand or hug him.

“Hi. Sorry, I’m late.”

“It’s fine, Ben. Really.” Joe chuckled softly. He was still holding onto Ben’s hand and only after the other man began to notice did he release it. “Would you care to sit?”

The two men moved to the table, sitting across from one another. Joe slouched only slightly, reminding himself to relax.

Stay relaxed, stay comfortable. Stay relaxed, stay comfortable.

“Order whatever you like.” He offered. “I don’t come to places like this often. I’m more of a take-out and sit on the couch kind of guy.”

“Do you cook?” Ben asked, his green eyes cast down to look through the menu.

“Every now and then but after the long shifts, cooking just isn’t worth it. And yes, I know meal prepping is a thing, but sometimes I feel like I just don’t have the time.”

“What is it you actually do?”

Joe kept his explanation simple. Most people were impressed with his line of work. He made a good amount of money off it. Ben seemed impressed for the most part and Joe hoped he was impressed with the career itself and not just the money it put in his wallet.

They ordered and continued talking. Joe found himself at a loss of what to say. He wasn’t used to having to be the one keeping the conversation going. It seemed Ben was a natural listener and just wanted Joe to tell him everything. Joe was fascinated by this but refused him countlessly.

“I want to hear from you. You came here for a reason, Ben. You don’t have to put on a show for me and pretend I’m that interesting.”

“Isn’t much to say really,” Ben confessed, sipping at his wine. “Most of my clients don’t care much for small talk. Dinner conversation of course, but that’s just to pass the time and fill the silence.”

“I guess I’m not like most of your clients,” Joe told him, sitting a bit straighter in his chair. “Tell me something you’ve never told any of the others.” He requested, his smile sleek and devilish. “Come on. What do you have to lose?”

Nothing. He had nothing to lose. If he didn’t want to see Joe after this, then that would be that. Ben could walk away without risking a thing and all Joe would get out of it was dinner and a secret.

Ben shifted in his chair, obviously taken back by the conversation. He looked less guarded and softer. Like the mask had suddenly been ripped off. Joe wondered if he threw him off his rhythm. He hoped he had.

When Ben spoke again, it was to reveal his apparent secret. He loved to act and hoped to one day be on Broadway. He was classically trained but plays were scares, even in New York. He modeled every now and then. People liked his look. It was universal. He could get away with anything because of his face and due to that, he found himself in the profession that he was currently working in now.

Joe wondered if Ben acted throughout all of this. If he took his clients and used that as scene partners, working off their energy to make his performance worthwhile. Any person that could smile as lovely as Ben while listening to someone babble on and on about the mundane bullshit of their personalized deserved a fucking Oscar.

“I had a patient few years back. Big theatre director on Broadway. Great guy — he was scared he’d stop breathing due to the drugs, so I kept him company during this time at the hospital. We got to know one another pretty well. I could give you his number.”

Ben looked stunned by his words, taken back by them. Joe wasn’t offering this in exchange for anything. He didn’t want Ben to have to fuck his way into some audition room. Joe believed in the man and merely wanted to help.

“Are you joking?” Ben muttered quietly.

“Why would I joke of such things?” Joe asked, his head cocked curiously. He finished his drink and when the waiter came to drop the checkoff, he blindly handed off his credit card, not even bothering to look at what the bill was.

“You don’t have to do that,” Ben told him, shifting in his seat.

 

“I did. My mother always raised me to believe a gentleman pays for his meal.”

“I meant the director, but we could have split it,” Ben told him.

“Don’t you like being spoiled?” Joe asked, resting his arms on the table. “I’m not trying to sell you anything, Ben. I don’t want you to think you owe me anything. All I want is for us to enjoy one another's company.”

Joe watched Ben’s expression carefully. He was thinking it over, weighing in his options. Joe knew he could easily back out. To tell the copper-haired man that this was fun, but it would never happen again. Joe made the tiny mistake of coming on too strong, and he had to reel it in quickly.

“What’s your favorite play?” He asked suddenly. Ben cocked his head, caught off guard. “Or really, what play would you want to be in? I can’t act for shit, but I always found myself fascinated by the character of Hamlet.”

The topic change was smooth enough and before either man knew it, they were going back and forth, speaking of characters and their ideal idolization and analyzation of them. Ben liked characters that were more than meets the eye. Complex creatures that couldn’t be understood easily. Joe liked that.

“You take it personally, don’t you?” He asked him. “People see you through your profession and expect the least from you. They want to put you in a box and keep you the way they want you, when in fact there is so much to be released into the world.”

“Are you sure you’re not a writer?” Ben questioned him. “You certainly speak like one.”

“I just speak my mind,” Joe answered.

They left the restaurant, walking slowly down the street. Joe lived close enough and didn’t bother taking his car. He tried to lead Ben there, but the blond held back. “This was nice. Probably one of the best nights I’ve had in a while.”

Joe knew that tone. Knew this speech. It was the breakup speech, but without the actual breaking up. No, no, no. This wouldn’t do.

“I know what you’re going to say.” Joe interrupted, stepping closer to him. “Before you do, I just want you to think about this. The life you live, it’s your choice. You go around, looking as gorgeous as ever. You give into peoples urges, you make them feel good and they pay you well. Haven’t you ever had someone make you feel good? Haven’t you ever been taken care of?”

“Joe, please. Don’t make this harder than it is.”

“It’s hard because you know I am right,” Joe told him, his lips breaking out into a grin. He was skimming the surface. All he had to do was get him to agree.

“Come home with me,” He whispered, moving closer to the man. “Just stay with me and let me show you how good I can make it.”

Joe trained his eyes on Ben’s face. He was looking away and clenching his jaw, his chest puffing up as he took a slow breath. “One night,” Ben told him quietly.

“No promises,” Joe beamed, stepping forward to kiss him.

He had never been a fan of PDA. Of showing any real affection outside of the bedroom. But Ben was making him feel so differently. Like he was a completely different person. Ben awakened something deep inside of Joe that had been longing to be released and he wasn’t going to lock it up any longer.

Bringing him back to his apartment, Joe left Ben in the living room as he went into his bedroom to gather his bearings. He wanted Ben to see just how wonderful this could be. To show Ben the world that Joe could offer him. A world of possibilities.

Going into his briefcase, Joe grabbed some of the supplies he had taken from work. Returning to the living room, Joe found Ben sitting back on the couch, waiting for him. Approaching from behind, he knelt to the ground and kissed Ben’s neck slowly.

The blond man hummed softly, tilting his head back to smile to him.

Joe had never seen such a beautiful creature. How no one had claimed him yet was beyond him. Joe kissed him slowly, his lips moving down his jaw and back to his neck.

He found a spot that he liked and sucked on it slowly, making him with a hickey. When he pulled back, he found Ben’s eyes closed and breathing leveled. Kissing Ben’s temple, Joe stood and brought his hand up, injecting the needle into his neck and pressing down to release the sedatives into his system.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joe really likes Ben, you know?


	5. Chapter 5

Joe was sitting at his computer when he heard Ben stir from the bed. He slept so peacefully and found that waking him just wasn’t right. He turned in his chair, watching as the man lifted his blond head, his green eyes showing behind the heavy lids.

“Hey buddy,” He spoke softly, smiling as Ben grew more aware. “Good morning. Well, afternoon.” It was nearly two in the afternoon. Joe wasn’t working for the next couple of days and took the chance to spend them wisely.

What could be better than spending it with a beautiful blond?

Ben pushed up on the bed, attempting to sit up but found it impossible. Joe blamed that on the restraints he had on him. Both wrists were tied to the bedpost, while his left leg was tied to the bottom post.

“Are you joking?” Ben muttered, his eyes wide and wild. “What the fuck is this?” He tried to pull on the ties but found it impossible to break away.

Joe was good at tying knots. His father put him in the Boy Scouts when he was a child and he learned a lot from it. Ben was looking around, trying to collect his thoughts, trying to understand. Joe watched as his eyes widened at the sight of his right leg, which was raised up in a sling.

“What have you done?” He asked, his voice shaking and breaking.

When Joe had injected him the first time, Ben’s reaction wasn’t what Joe had expected. He realized he didn’t give him enough and instead of passing out as he wanted, he was more aware and confused. He tried to get away, tried to fight him. Joe couldn’t let that happen.

They got into a bit of a scuffle and Joe had to take one for the team and take Ben out. Grabbing the bat down from the wall, Joe struck Ben’s leg repeatedly. The screams Ben released went down Joe’s spine and turned him on in a way he never expected.

Joe wasn’t into BDSM or pain of any sort, but the screams were too good for him to resist. When Ben was down for the count, Joe injected him once more, this time enough to take him out for the night.

He took care of Ben after that, making sure he was comfortable in his drug-induced sleep. He tied him up because he didn’t want him to try to run off before he could explain it all.

Moving forward, Joe sat on the edge of his bed, smiling calmly to the blond.

“You tried to run away. I just couldn’t allow that, Ben.” He explained carefully. “I know this is a lot to take in, but I need you to listen to me. I’m doing this for your own good.”

“You’re insane!” Ben hissed, pulling on his restraints.

Joe expected this to come. The man was so persistent to leave that the copper-haired man expected the blond to be angry. He would be confused and angry and he had every right to be. Joe just needed Ben to hear him out and everything would be fine.

Ben began screaming again, yelling for help. Ben’s apartment had been soundproofed long ago. He paid the money for it due to his own need to just let loose and scream and cry. He could be very loud and didn’t want neighbors to know how utterly miserable of a person he was.

Still, hearing Ben shout like this, it wasn’t a turn on and it wasn’t cute. Going to his draw, Joe grabbed one of the ties he rarely wore and brought it back to bed. He rung it around, tying it tightly across Ben’s mouth to silence him.

“I don’t like doing this. I wouldn’t have to if you would just listen to me.” Joe told him quietly, using a tone that annoyed parents would use on a child that was putting up a fight.

“Are you going to listen to me, Ben?” He asked carefully.

Ben was biting down on the tie, breathing deeply through his nose. He looked like a bear caught in a trap, angry and just buying his time.

“We can sit here all day if thats what you want. Just sit here in total silence.” Joe didn’t have anywhere to go. He had nowhere to be. He could sit and wait until the sunset and then continue on until it rose again if that’s what Ben wanted.

The blond took a long breath before relaxing back against the bed, momentarily giving up.

“Are you hungry?” Joe asked. Ben didn’t answer, but the sound of his stomach growling was enough to set him off. “Of course you are. Sit tight.”

Leaving the bedroom, Joe went to the kitchen to get a few things, returning to find Ben attempting to pull on the restraints again.

“It’s not going to work,” Joe told him. “I was a Boy Scout all the way until my teen years. If there is one thing I’m good at, it’s tying knots.” Sitting down beside him, Joe showed off the selection he brought. Some fruit and cheese with crackers. It wasn’t that spectacular, but it would work for now. “If I take off the tie, are you going to be a good boy and eat?”

Ben didn’t say anything. His green eyes were ablaze, the look of hate and hell filling through him.

“I will remind you that I have more sedatives if I need them.”

It was one of the dark perks of his job. He had more than enough drugs to help someone relax and fall asleep. Ben wasn’t in pain because of this. His leg might have been fucked up, but Joe pumped him with enough to numb him to the core.

“Now, are you going to eat or not?”

There was a silent beat and then Ben gave a small nod. Joe reached over and pulled away from the tie. Ben turned his head quickly, baring his teeth so he could bite into Joe’s arm. The man hissed and let out a strangled moan.

“Ooh, naughty boy,” Joe said, pulling away from him. Lifting one of the grapes, Joe shoved it into Ben’s mouth. “Eat.” He instructed. “Eat or you get the tie and the needle.”

Ben turned away, chewing up the grape. Joe offered him another, making sure to be careful with his fingers.

“I emailed that former patient, you know. While you were sleeping. He has a new show coming up and is still auditioning people.” Ben’s eyes met his own for the first time since he started eating. His interest peeked. "I asked him for a page from the script for you to read. We can go over it later.”

Ben was silent. He wasn’t speaking to him, barely looking at him. Joe sighed, placing the plate of food on Ben’s lap.

“I know you hate me right now. But I’m doing this for a reason, Ben. If you left last night, you would have gone back to a life that isn’t worthy of you.”

“You’re insane,” Ben repeated quietly.

“Oh, so what? You think going home to an empty apartment, scrolling through your emails and trying to find the highest bidder? See who was willing to give you attention so long as they get your cock at the end of the night? Come on, Ben. Grow a backbone.”

“Better than going home to an empty apartment and being a bloody lunatic.”

Joe sighed deeply. He wasn’t offended by his words. He knew Ben was upset and wanted him to let it all out. The anger and disdain. He would accept it all because in the end, when he was finished, he would be free of the negativity.

“I can give you a good life, Ben. A life you were meant to lead. Come on. You can’t honestly tell me you’re happy selling yourself short.”

“You know nothing about me.”

“I know everything!” Joe snapped, raising his voice at the blond. “The problem is you don’t know yourself, Ben. You put on this mask, pretending to be someone you’re not. You could have so much. A career, a family. You could have someone who cares about you.”

“Whose says I don’t?” Ben fired back to him.

“Those people who pay for you?” Joe shook his head. “They don’t care about you, Ben. They don’t love you. Do you even love you?” Joe moved the plate from Ben’s lap and moved slowly, going to straddle him. Hazel eyes locked onto the green as he leaned in close to him. “I could love you, Ben. I could give you a life you never even dreamed of.”

“You’re insane,” Ben muttered, his breath hot on Joe’s face.

Joe pulled back, sighing quietly. “I won’t take no for an answer. You need time to think. And I have all the time in the world.” Pushing up off the bed, Joe took one of the grapes and popped it into his mouth, leaning down to kiss the top of Ben’s head.

Ben was lucky he was a patient man.

Joe gave Ben the time he obviously needed. He stayed in the living room, working on his computer until he was emailed with the snippet from the theatre script. He returned to Ben, finding him away, seething on the bed.

“Your script came in. Do you wanna use the bathroom before we go over it?” Joe offered. “Don’t worry, I’m not into water-sports or anything like that.”

Ben looked away, sighing quietly. “Fine.”

Joe came forward, going to untie Ben’s leg first, and then his arms. Three-seconds passed before Ben lunged forward, pushing Joe away so he could get off the bed. He made the mistake of tripping over his sling as he fell to the ground, letting out a loud cry as he hit the floor.

“Your pain meds wore off,” Joe said, watching Ben wither on the ground. “The pain must be unbearable. You didn’t notice due to the sling, but now you feel it. I can make it stop.”

“Fuck you!” Ben cursed out, attempting to crawl away.

“I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t like hurting you, but you won’t listen!” Joe pushed himself off the bed and moved to close the door, locking it. Ben screamed for help, but it was no use. “My home is soundproofed, Ben. No one can hear you. Now stop fighting me.”

Joe came forward, pulling Ben up so he could drag him to the bathroom. He was heavy, but Joe was stronger than he looked.

“Why are you doing this?” Ben demanded, trying his best to break away.

Joe avoided his thrashing as he threw Ben into the bathtub. Reaching forward, he turned the shower on, letting the cold water spray all over the blond.

“Because you’re not listening. Dammit, Ben. I hate being repetitive!”

Joe pinched the bridge of his nose, trying his best to calm himself. He knew Ben needed this. Needed to let out all the anger that he was bundled deep inside of him. Joe just wished he would get it over with already. He didn’t like fighting with Ben. He hated seeing him angry.

He missed seeing that beautiful smile, hearing that lovely laugh. He wanted Ben to be happy and Joe knew he could make him just that.

Reaching forward, he turned the shower off. “Are you going to be good?” He asked him carefully.

Ben looked up to him, staring daggers at the man. He reached a hand out for Joe to take. The copper-haired man paused, hesitant. “If you hurt me again, I’ll hurt you back,” Joe swore quietly.

It was a promise. A swear. He didn’t want to see Ben in pain, but he would do what he felt was right in the situation.

Ben reached out, taking his hand. He held onto it tightly and in this small gesture, Joe knew deep down Ben could trust him and thats all he needed. Joe pulled him up, helping him stand. He helped him clean up and use the bathroom, let him go back onto the bed. He gave him clothes to change into as he changed the sheets. When he laid back on the bed, he put his leg back into the sling and gave him a shot of pain relief.

He tied up his other leg, just to be safe, before passing Ben his iPad so he could look over the pages that had been sent over.

“From this scene alone, the play looks interesting,” Joe told him.

He kept the conversation casual because he needed to. He had to show Ben that it wasn’t always going to be pure insanity. He wasn’t some crazy bastard who wanted to keep Ben to himself. He just wanted to show Be how good life could be if he gave him a chance and stopped selling himself to the highest bidder.

Maybe his methods had a bit of madness to them, but it was all for a good cause. Joe was a vigilante saving Ben from himself and he refused to be stopped just because his techniques seemed a bit wild.

He let Ben read over the pages while he cooked. He wasn’t a professional or anything of the sort, but he could read directions well enough. He went back and forth between the kitchen and the bedroom, winding up eating in the latter so Ben was comfortable.

When nightfall came, Joe didn’t press his luck. He slept on the couch, giving Ben the whole bed. He didn’t want to force the situation any more than he already had. He would give Ben time to warm up to this idea. Of the two of them together. It wasn’t terrible. It could be perfect.

It could be magic even.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think Ben should listen?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey, look. Ben's POV. 
> 
> That should be fun.

Ben was a smart man.

Nobody believed that on sight. They saw a beautiful man with a sharp jawline and high cheekbones. They saw a bright smile and light eyes. Ben was a portrait of a man and he was proud of that. He worked hard to keep up with his looks. He worked out and took care of himself. He ate right and applied lotion to his skin. His teeth were white and straight and his hygiene was on point.

But truth was, there was more than meets the eye to Ben Hardy. When he graduated, it was with honors and the promise of a bright future. When he arrived in America, things did not go his way, but he refused to back down. He knew he was talented and young, his time would come. He would get the chance to show off what he could do and everything he did up to that point would be worth it.

His line of work wasn’t conventional, but he didn’t mind. He was good at it, giving people a good time. He knew how to handle a customer and make their night worthwhile. People from all over wanted him, even if it was just for one night.

Not to toot his own horn, but he wasn’t surprised when this man, Joe, wanted to see him again. He had been asked out before. By clients who wanted to see him on the regular. He always shut them down, keeping it strictly professional. He never had the need to branch out and date someone.

He was too focused on trying to land on auditions and playing the part that his clientele wanted him to play. Having a relationship would only muddle that.

And yet he agreed to meet Joe for a second time. Not as a man of the night, but as a regular person just going out for dinner. Ben didn’t know why he did it. Something about Joe caught his attention. He was different from any of his other clients. Perhaps it was due to never being with another male before? Maybe it was how good the sex was? Joe was so passionate it threw Ben off.

He was nervous and that wasn’t new, but he was also so eager. Not just eager to get laid, but eager to give Ben a good time. Ben wasn’t used to his clients caring about his own enjoyment. Only once has he ever had a client that gave a shit about him on a more personal level, but that man was different. He was lonely and depressed and needed a friend. Ben gave into that because he felt sorry for the man and wanted them both to benefit from it.

Maybe he did the same for Joe here. He wanted them to both benefits from giving into this. Allowing this to be something more than Joe just paying for his time. Joe was offering Ben things nobody ever else has. He was fanning the flame of his fantasy, giving him chances of a lifetime.

It seemed so good to be true and low and behold, it was.

Ben was lying in the bed, his leg up in a sling after it had been bashed in. Joe was explaining to him the situation. He didn’t break it completely, but he would need a boot for a while. He would need help walking for the first few weeks and Joe would be by his side helping him with that.

Joe was so caring and tender, but Ben didn’t have a single doubt in his mind that the copper-haired man would hesitate to hurt him again. Ben had tried to make his escape, but Joe was faster than him, maybe even stronger than him. He stopped him every single time, his all too gentle voice and glassy eyes looming over him as he did.

Joe made it very clear that this wasn’t going to end the way Ben wanted it to. Ben wasn’t sure how far the male would take this, but it had already gone far enough. He was keeping Ben tied to the bed, always just a few feet apart.

Ben’s phone was off to the side, fully charged. He wasn’t allowed to touch it, but any messages he would receive, he could answer through Joe. It was just a few people, friends telling him about auditions and such.

He could tell Joe was being skeptical, trying to see if any of them were his clients. Jealousy was a strange look on Joe. He was a handsome man, but every now and then he’d give Ben this look of deceit and it gave Ben a strange feeling down his spine. Ben wouldn’t say he was turned on by it, but the memories of Joe on top of him, riding into him without a worry popped into his mind once or twice.

They talked about this or that. Ben had decided to just give in and play nice. If he was going to get out of this situation, he had to at least make it seem like he was trying. He had to catch Joe off his guard, he had to make him think he was going to be okay with being held, hostage.

He tried to kiss him a time or two, but Joe persisted. The blond didn’t expect such a thing. He figured at least if he could get Joe into a strange position, it would be easier to subdue him. But Joe refused.

“You don’t have to do this,” Joe whispered to him one night, his hand against his chest to keep him at bay. “You don’t have to make this about sex. I want more than that. Don’t you see that?”

Ben didn’t know what to make of it. He had expected that if Joe was going to do this, then Ben would have to clench his teeth and take one for the team if it meant escaping from his grasp. But now it seemed that Joe had something more in his plans for him.

Maybe he was just a lonely man who needed to hold onto what he cared about? Or maybe he was literally out of his fucking mind, but still wasn’t a rapist.

Who fucking knew?

Ben needed to test this theory. He needed to know how far Joe was willing to go with this. They went over the script that Joe had gotten him. It bothered Ben endlessly that he did, in fact, a good script. He could connect with the character he wanted to play and found it easy enough to slip into that role.

But right now, all he wanted to do was focus on the role he was playing. The one that was open to being taken in by this crazy bastard.

Ben’s phone went off and it was a familiar name. One Ben knew he would be hearing of soon enough.

“Friend of yours?” Joe asked, reading over the message again and again. Allen wanted to see him, as it had been nearly two weeks since they had last been together.

“Client,” Ben answered honestly. “A good one too.”

He wasn’t lying. Allen cared about Ben in a way that could almost mirror Joe. He wanted more, but completely understood what it was. Still, he would dote upon him. Gift him with things and take him to dinner. They had sex and it was intimate.

Ben liked him. Just not enough to keep him from this monster.

“None of them care about you, you know,” Joe mentioned quietly. “Not like I do.”

“Allen does,” Ben told him, adjusting his sitting. He kept his eyes on Joe, watching as his jaw tightened and fingers flinched. “He gives me anything my heart desires.”

Joe scoffed, standing from his seat as he began to pace back and forth. Ben was getting under his skin and the blond knew he had to continue on.

“Allen loves me.” He told him proudly.

“ _Love?_  Bah!” Joe snapped, his hands settling on his lips. “He doesn’t love you, Ben. He loves what you can give him. He buys you pretty little things in exchange for the fuck of a lifetime. He doesn’t care about you, he cares about your cock and ass.”

“You sound jealous.” Ben mused. “Worried there is someone out there in the world that could make me happy?”

Joe turned to face him, standing at the edge of the bed. “He could never make you happy, Ben,” Joe told him, his expression low and dark.

“He can,” Ben answered. “They all can. You aren’t special, Joe.” Ben watched as Joe flexed his fingers and knew something was coming. He reminded himself that he had to be good. He had to make Joe prove him differently. “But you could be.” He added quietly. “Allen had given me so much. But you . . . you could give me more.”

“More,” Joe mimicked, watching him. The realization came over his head and Ben watched as Joe left the room. A moment later, he returned with his computer. He placed it on Ben’s lap, offering it to him. “Log in.” He ordered. “Your page. Your profile. Log in now.”

Ben thought about denying him but knew it could be dangerous. Joe was angry and it was all Ben’s doing. Lifting his hands, he signed into his profile. Joe took the computer and scrolled all around, searching until he found what he needed. He placed the computer back down, the arrow hovering over the ‘terminate profile.’

Ben looked up to Joe, who had a determined glaze over his face. “Do it.” He told him.

Swallowing down his pride, Ben clicked the button, watching as the profile that he worked so hard on and took years to perfect disappeared with one click of a button. Taking the computer away, Joe passed Ben his phone.

“Delete them all. Every number. Every name. They don’t exist anymore.”

“I only kept Allen’s,” Ben answered him. He didn’t have many regulars, but Allen was different. He saw him monthly, maybe even bi-monthly, depending on how needy the man was.

“Then delete his number. Block him.”

“It won’t matter. He cares about me, Joe. He made me happy. Nothing will stop him from seeing me again.”

“How happy?” Joe asked him. He moved onto the bed, straddling Ben, careful of his bed. “How happy did he make you?”

“Very,” Ben answered.

“ _How_?” Joe hissed out. “Did he touch you? Did he take you in his mouth? Tell me!”

“He cared!” Ben shouted. “He gave a damn when nobody else did.”

“I give a damn!” Joe was screaming now, his voice louder than ever. “I care about you. I can take care of you. This man — this Allen — is nothing but a selfish bastard who uses you. I could give you so much more,” Joe leaned in closely, his hands on Ben’s face as he held him. “So, so much more.”

“How?” Ben asked, his voice shaking. “How could you when Allen is out there, waiting for me? Wanting to love me?”

Joe leaned away, his expression broken. “I could love you,” Joe whispered to him.

And there it was. The spark. The possibility. The challenge.

“Prove it,” Ben ordered him.

Joe leaned back completely, his eyes never wavering. Reaching forward, he took Ben’s phone from the bed before storming out, slamming the door behind him in his wake.

</3

Allen Leech was a lonely man. He was kind and caring, and overworked. He rarely focused on himself or his needs. He put his heart and soul into his work, and in the end, he found himself unable to meet the right person. Maybe he was too nice. Maybe he was too into his career. He didn’t really know.

But he was lonely nonetheless. And even the most overworked people need to let loose every now and then. He contacted the agency looking for a bit of attention. He wasn’t against buying some affection. They had sent him a woman and while she was beautiful, it just wasn’t a match. After that, they sent a man and that was a disaster. He was nervous and maybe a bit too sheltered to do anything right.

He was going to give up and accept being alone when he tried one last time. That’s when he met Ben. He was lovely in every sense of the word. Gorgeous and funny. He was easy to get along with. Allen spoiled him even when he told him not to. Allen wasn’t always good at listening. He wanted Ben to smile. To make him happy.

They didn’t see one another often but when they did Allen would shower him with gifts. Scarves and colognes and many other expensive items for him to show off. Allen wasn’t in love but he cared for the man endlessly.

He knew it was wrong. Ben had tried to get him to see this wasn’t anything more than what it was. Ben had always been very straight forward about that, but Allen didn’t care. Maybe somewhere deep in his soul, he thought he’d be able to win him over.

Tonight was no exception. When he received the reply back from him, Allen jumped at the chance to see Ben again. He knew he was popular and had a busy schedule, but Ben always made time for him.

It had been nearly a month since he saw the blond and he made sure they would have a wonderful night. He cooked for them and had the table all set up. There was a bouquet of flowers waiting for him and Allen was waiting too.

When the knock on the door came, Allen smoothed down his hair and ran his hands over the wrinkles of the shirt he was wearing. He hurried to the door and swung it open, excepting to see the beautiful blond he had become so familiar with.

Except it wasn’t him. Instead, it was stranger he had never seen before.

“Oh. Hello. May I help you?”

“Are you Allen?” The man asked him carefully.

“Yes. Do I know you?”

“I’m a friend of Ben’s.” The man answered. He was smiling in a way that Allen couldn’t describe. It wasn’t friendly but it wasn’t unpleasant either. “He couldn’t make it tonight, so he sent me instead.”

“Oh.” Ben had never canceled before. He was suddenly curious to know what could have come up. “Is everything alright?”

“May I come in?” He asked, his grin widening.

Allen pauses for a moment but bobbed his head. Stepping aside, he allowed the stranger to enter his home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joe is more than willing to show Ben just how much he cares.
> 
> Should we pray for Allen, y'all?


	7. Chapter 7

Allen was handsome, Joe had to give him that. He was shorter than himself by a bit, a pint-sized cutie. A pretty twink with a nice accent. He wasn’t surprised Ben enjoyed being around him. Even Joe would have given him the time of day if the chance had come up.

He checked Allen out prior to arriving, using Ben’s phone to find out everything he could. He went onto his Instagram page and checked out his facebook. He worked at the family firm; a place that took care of children in bad situations and helped them get into better, more loving homes. He made a decent amount of money, but never flaunted it.

He lived in an average apartment complex, in a decent size apartment. He didn’t drive a fancy car or wear designer clothes. He lived modestly and honestly.

Not unless you counted Ben, of course.

The place was set up for an obvious date. Dinner was cooked and the table was set. The scene overall was casually romantic. It made Joe’s stomach twist, but he hides his face well from the man.

“Is Ben okay? He’s never sent someone in his place before.” Allen mentioned to Joe.

The taller male watched him, taking in his stance and his overall personal perspective. He didn’t stand strong, didn’t look his way. Even now, in his own home, he was self-conscious. Pity, really. If there was one place you should be able to hold your own, it should be your own home, but then again Joe guessed that was just how Allen was.

Lithe and reserved. He wasn’t a fighter, barely a lover.

“He’s a little tied up at the moment,” Joe confessed to him quietly. “He sends his deepest sympathies.”

Allen bobbed his head, taking what he had been told. “I’m sorry to hear that.” He spoke, turning away from Joe. He continued on talking, mentioning how he wasn’t just looking for a bit of fun, but rather wanted to see Ben specifically.

He was surprised Ben would send him someone as a replacement, but Joe made no comment. Reaching behind him, he removed the bat that he had brought with him from where he hid it on his person. Tucked against his back, behind his belt, and under his suit jacket.

Allen was in the middle of apologizing to Joe, for him having to come all this way for nothing. He turned to face the man, reaching for his wallet to pay him for his troubles when Joe swung the bat forward, hitting him square across the face and knocking him to the ground.

Joe had never hit someone with a bat before (not counting when he shattered Ben's leg, of course), but it felt similar to hitting a baseball coming right at him. The same vibration, though balls didn’t have the same reaction as people did.

Joe walked deeper into the house, inspecting it all as Allen laid bleeding in the ground. He was groaning, crying out in anguish. Joe gave him his moment, allowed him to have his freak out. This had to be a shock to him and even Joe could understand such a reaction.

Eventually, it got to be too much, however.

“Allen. Allen! I’m gonna need you to stop it.”

“Stop it?” Allen repeated, looking up from where he was lying in the ground. “You hit me with a bloody bat!”

“I did. And believe me, when I say, I am sorry about this.” Joe confessed to him quietly. Aside from his work in general, Allen was big into philanthropy. He wanted to help those around him, wanted to make the world a better place.

Truly, he was an incredibly selfless guy. He just happened to care a little too much about the wrong man.

“I looked into you. You really are an amazing guy. Very giving. Not a lot of people realize that charity work is more than just giving money. You do, however. I hope you continue to make other people happy when this is over. Excluding one specific person, of course.”

Allen spits out in the blood-stained carpet. “Why are you doing this?”

Joe’s expression softened. Had the man not realized? Surely it was obvious. Joe didn’t take Allen to be slow minded but he excused him in his haste. “For Ben, of course.”

“Ben?” Allen repeated. “I barely know the guy!”

Joe sighed, going to sit on the couch. “Now Allen we both know that isn’t exactly true. The cooked dinner. The flowers. Chicken with risotto is one of his favorite meals. And that isn’t something he goes around telling everyone.”

“I’m paying him! He means nothing to me.”

Joe’s eyes darkened suddenly. “That’s a lie. And we both know it.” Joe told him quietly. “You mean something to him. You’re one of the few clients he didn’t want to let go of. I understand why -- I mean look at this place.” Joe stood from the couch and walked around the room, gesturing to everything he saw.

There were paintings on the walls and designer pictures. It was proper and clean. And then there was Allen, leaning against the couch, his blood staining the floor.

“You took care of him. Made him feel good. And I truly am thankful for that. You treated Ben right.”

“I’ll leave him alone,” Allen swore, pushing himself up against the couch.

“Oh, I know you will,” Joe mentioned with a shrug. “Consider this your break up,” Joe added, leaning the bat against his shoulder.

“Done.” Allen swallowed deeply, sitting back against the softness of the couch.

Joe bobbed his head, turning his heel to leave. A little roughhousing would be enough for the man. He was lonely yes, but not stupid. Joe was about to leave when something caught his eye. Across the way on a bookshelf, he saw a small red light. He had seen one before, having had his girlfriend try to record one of their sexual adventures in an attempt to spice up their relationship.

“Are you recording this?” He asked carefully, turning to face the man when the realization came over him. “Were you going to record Ben?”

A new wave of anger came over Joe and he remembered the conversation he and Ben had on the day the first met. The other man wasn’t a fan of having pictures taken of him by clients and recordings were completely against the question. It was a personal preference, one he stuck by.

Joe had questioned it in the few days of them being together and he mentioned how he didn’t like people just using him for his body against his will. When he came to them, he was giving himself willingly, but a picture or a video, it was just him. A small portion of him that the person had stolen. A piece of his vanity and not him as a whole.

“How often have you done this?” Joe asked him. “Does Ben know?”

“Please,” Allen muttered. “It’s not . . . don’t tell him.”

“He doesn’t know?” Joe gripped the bat tightly in his arm, swinging it down roughly onto the coffee table. It broke into pieces and Allen jumped at the sound. “Show me! Everything, Allen. Show me now!”

Ignoring the blood draining from his face, Allen scrambled to get the feed from his iPad. Joe scrolled through and found an endless page of videos and pictures Allen had taken. Ben came here often it seemed and while that thought alone felt a burning session of jealousy inside of Joe’s chest, knowing that Allen had done this without permission made him sick.

“You had no right,” Joe told him darkly.

“Please don’t do this,” Allen blubbered. He was crying now. Bleeding and crying out pathetically. “I’ll end it. He’ll never hear from me again.”

“Now that I don’t believe,” Joe answered him, going to place the iPad down beside him. “Ben...he’s not something you can just quit. He’s a phenomenal man and even if you tried, you’d want to see him. Speak to him. Maybe even tell him what happened here.”

Joe moved closer, going to stand in front of Allen now. With the bat in hand, he towered the poor man. He looks so small and weak. It made sense as to why he had to pay for Ben’s affections. He didn’t deserve it in the first place.

“I truly am sorry about this. I hope one day you find peace knowing that Ben really did like you. Just a little too much. But this,” he gestured to the iPad and the videos he had on it. “Well, that’s just unforgivable.”

Allen let out another scream by it was silenced by Joe swinging the bat down. He struck him three more times and in the end, he was left battered and bloody and very, very dead. Joe ran his hand over his face, smearing the blood with a heavy sigh.

Going into the kitchen, he was careful about not touching the sink with his hands. He washed off the blood and brain matter on his bat, wiping it down with paper towels. Tossing them in the trash, he placed the bat back where he held it, in the waist of his pants, behind his jacket.

He looked over to Allen, who was laying on the ground with his brains and blood smeared everywhere. Joe really did hope someone took over his charity. Really would be a waste. The red-headed man made a mental note to make a donation in his honor when news broke out.

He went around the apartment, doing what he could to make the scene a bit more believable on his hand. He gathered up a few things and broke them, careful not to leave any prints. He took Allen’s phone and wallet and iPad. He went over to the bookshelf and took the camera that was there.

Heading into his bedroom, he found one more camera there, and then another in the bathroom. He used the videos on the iPad to help him find any of the rest. Once it seemed all had been clear, Joe gathered everything up and double checked to make sure he left no trace of himself.

The apartment complex was older and didn’t have much of security detail. No one would see him coming or going. For all they knew, this was just a break in situation. He even fucked with the lock a bit with his own keys to make it seem like someone had just picked the lock while the poor bastard was preparing to have dinner by himself.

With one last glance to the man on the ground, Joe left the apartment.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for such a short chapter. Please enjoy despite the length.

Ben had always been good with his hands, but getting a knot undone was harder than he expected. He had been trying for an hour already, unable to reach anything to even cut the rope that Joe had used to die him up.

He felt hopeless, with both hands-free but still unable to even leave the bed. Joe hadn’t given him any painkillers before leaving, so every movement he made brought more pain to his leg. Ben knew he had to do this. If he stayed behind and waited for Joe to return, there was no telling what he was returning home to.

He felt terrible for sending him to Allen, but it was the only way for him to be able to leave. The only way for Ben to be able to escape. So he kept pushing his luck, pulling and tugging, doing everything he could until finally, he was able to pull his good leg free. Unhooking his leg from the sling, Ben moved carefully off the bed, hopping through the room carefully.

He made it out of the bedroom and into the living room when the door swung open. Ben thought for a moment he could avoid Joe by slipping into the kitchen. The man would walk right by, going into the bedroom instead, and Ben could make a run for it.

If only he could run….

Joe found him there, standing in the kitchen and cornered him against the counter. Ben kept his eyes trained on Joe, all while his hands searched the counter for something to grab. Anything really. A knife, a toaster. A fucking picture frame. Anything of the sorts.

As Joe approached, Ben clenched his fist, prepared to fight with everything he had.

Reaching forward, Joe tossed something down on the counter beside Ben. The blond didn’t look at it right away, but eventually, curiosity got the best of him. It was an iPad of all things. The screen was open to a picture of himself, but a rather candid one.

He didn’t recognize the picture right away, but when he lifted the iPad and got a better look, he saw that it was in fact himself. He flipped to the next picture and found one just as similar. And then a video. And then another picture — this time naked in a bathroom. And then a video of himself with Allen.

He made a strict rule about recording or photographs when it came to his clientele. All this time Allen had been recording him without his knowledge. Making his own little photo album and pornographic collection.

When he looked back to Joe, he saw the man had droplets of blood on his face. “Don’t say I never did anything for you,” Joe told him. His voice was low and even.

A wicked realization came over Ben and for a moment, he was scared. It was very clear what Joe had done, but not for his own selfish reasons. He didn’t cause harm to Allen due to his jealous, but instead because he realized just what Allen had done. He had gone against Ben’s wishes and Joe could not stand someone causing him pain.

Even in the darkest of ways, Joe was proving to Ben just how much he cared for him. And while Ben knew it was wrong, that this man was deranged and dangerous, he could not help but find a strange attraction to it.

Placing the iPad down, Ben reached out and took Joe’s face in his hands. He could have easily pushed them down and wrapped them around his neck to choke him out, but he didn’t. He pulled Joe into him until their mouths were pressed together.

Unlike their other kisses, where Ben had been trying to distract and deceive the man, a source of need went through Ben into Joe. The copper-haired man did not resist this time around. He wrapped his arms around Ben, deepening the kiss slowly.

They didn’t move into the bedroom or even onto the couch. The passion and lust flowing through them were too strong to deny and they did it right there on the kitchen counter. It was quick and rough, with Joe pressed up behind him as he was bent over the cold counter.

Such an act should be done without care or affection, but the way Joe whispered to him and caressed his body, even a rough fuck against granite is enough to seem romantic to the blond. When they finished, Joe was pulling him back to stand, holding him back against his chest as he whispered sweet little things against him.

Ben allowed Joe to bring him back to his bedroom, back onto the bed and his leg back onto the swing. He gave him the pain medicine that was relaxing him as Ben went through the iPad, looking over all the videos and pictures. He had never felt so betrayed in his life and suddenly, he didn’t feel so bad for sending Joe over there.

“He’s gone, isn’t he?” Ben asked him as they laid together on the bed.

Joe rolled onto his side, his hand coming to run along Ben’s chest slowly. “He won’t hurt you again.” He promised, his hand coming up to cup his cheek. Joe leaned in and kissed him slowly. Ben accepted the kiss, sighing quietly, as they pulled away.

Tossing the iPad down, Ben nuzzled closer to the man, accepting his fate for another night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....thoughts? Theories?


	9. IX

Ben knew there were worst fates than this. Aside from the whole being tied up thing and having to watch Joe wash the blood of his former client off, their relationship was rather normal. Ben tried to remind himself what Joe had done and how wrong it was.

Even if Allen had done something against his wishes, wanting him to die just seemed too drastic. They had found articles written about it and even some news outlets had picked it up. Joe boosted about how sneaky he had been and how his plan worked perfectly. They expected it to be nothing more than a robbery that went wrong.

No trace of Joe had been found at the scene and they were free to carry on their own. Ben’s page was completely wiped and any possible link to it who he was or what he did was terminated. Joe and Ben went over Ben’s phone, deleting all different numbers on it. When he was finished, he only had a handful of contacts left.

Ben felt a strange string of relief, like an odd weight had been lifted off his shoulder. He never expected to feel anything like this. He didn’t like Joe, he didn’t trust him in the least, but he didn’t hate him either.

He should. He caused him physical damage and killed a man to show off his apparent devotion. That should have been the biggest red flag for Ben and while he still planned on escaping, he took his time with his planning.

Joe had gone to work, leaving him alone in the apartment. He was still tied up, much to his dismay and he wasn’t allowed to have his phone. Joe didn’t trust him, and for good reason. It was boring and all he had to entertain himself was the script he had been given.

By now, Ben knew the character far too well and it sickened him to know that he would be going for it with the copper-haired man by his side. When Joe returned, he was smiling and kissing him. They did this often. Kissed one another and slept in the same bed. Joe fucked him slowly, tightly. It felt good and that makes Ben’s stomach twist.

He should not like this man, not like the way he felt, but he did. Nobody ever cared about Ben’s pleasure, nobody except for Joe. When this was over, Ben knew he would never forget Joe, and one of those reasons was due to how utterly surprising he was in bed. So careful and precise. He cared about his partner and made him feel everything; every touch, every thrust, every kiss. It was magical.

He checked Ben’s leg out and set him up with a boot, one that would allow him to move about on his own with the help of crutches. He expressed how he had to work the extra long shift so that he could be free the following day and attend the audition with him.

Twelve hours away should have been enough for Ben to be able to escape, but he didn’t. Not yet. If he was going to put up with this, then he was at least going to get more out of it than just sex. He wanted the audition, even if it meant having to have Joe beside him.

They walked down the busy New York streets and for a short while, Ben thought about attacking Joe, of hitting him with a crutch and hobbling away or asking for him. He kept reminding himself to wait until the audition was over. Wait until he spoke with the people, got his name out there, and then he could make his escape.

The only time Ben was on his own was when they got to the theatre. He sat back in one of the seats while Joe went to speak with his friend, the man who was running the whole operation. Every now and then Joe would turn and smile back to him. To any other bystander, they would see the smile of a man who was smitten and in love.

All Ben saw was an obsessed madman with a gorgeous cock.

When Joe came back to his side, he was trying to psych Ben up. He gave him tips, reminding him to keep his head clear and focused, to stay in character and not let all the eyes on him be a distraction. He kissed Ben deeply, passionately. Like a proud lover would.

“Break a leg, baby,” Joe muttered sweetly.

“You already did that for me.” Ben reminded him.

Joe chuckled sweetly like the blond was telling a joke. Ben fought the urge to choke him right there in front of everybody. Turning, he hobbled up onto the stage.

He had auditioned before, several times in fact. This was never anything new. You’d read a monologue or something from the script. Once or twice he had gotten a callback, and back in London he had even gotten a few roles, but nothing here in America. Not yet at least.

Ben read the lines that he had been practicing and while the crew seemed impressed, the director wanted more. They always wanted more. Theater directors always wanted you to put your heart and soul into the role. Blood, sweat, and tears into it. Just like they did.

“Why do you want this role, Ben?” He asked the blond.

“Why?” Ben mimicked. What the fuck kind of question was that?

Why did he want any role he auditioned for? Because it was a job. Because he wanted to pay his bills and afford to eat. Because he wanted to act and the role was something worth going for.

Why else would he be there?

“Because for the past five days I’ve been tied to a bed, held against my will with nothing more than my captor and this script by my side,” Ben answered him, his eyes breaking away from the directors and landing onto Joe’s.

The copper-haired man shifted in his head, taken back by his confession.

“This script, while lacking a bit of substance, has been my only link to the outside world. This character, though flawed, has been the only thing keeping me sane. Why do I want this role? Because it’s my only way of escaping the hand that fate has placed upon me. If I am going to be trapped in an unavoidable situation than I am going to make the most out of it. I am going to take all I can get. I’m going to be selfish. How is that for an answer?”

The room was silent for a long while. Ben could see the wheels inside Joe’s mind beginning to turn. The truth was out there for the world to know and the two would have to face it. Joe would have to come up with something, anything to get out of this one and Ben looked forward to seeing him try.

“Trapped with nothing more than your captor and my script.” The director hummed, standing to his feet. “That’s one hell of a metaphor, Mr. Hardy.”

Ben’s expression dropped at the man began clapping. Soon enough, the rest of the crew was joining him. Joe too. He swallowed hard, watching as Joe leaped from his seat and joined him onto the stage, pulling him in for a hug.

“You almost had been going there for a second, buddy,” Joe whispered to him, laughing it off.

He wrapped his arm around Ben’s waist, holding him close. The director came down, shaking his hand and congratulating him. They still had a few more people to watch, but it looked like they found their leading man.

Ben couldn’t breathe. The air was caught up in his throat and he felt sick to his stomach. He leaned on Joe for support, though not by choice. The man held him close, smiling proudly. Joe made an excuse for them to leave and lead him out of the theatre.

The cool New York air hit his face as they stepped out onto the street. The cars were loud and the sidewalk crew. Ben followed Joe out, letting him lead the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	10. Chapter 10

Life had never been so wonderful before. Joe felt like he was walking on air. Ben’s audition had gone wonderfully. Even with the small slip-up and near decoration he had made, Ben won the crowd over and earned his spot in the cast.   
  
When they returned home, Joe made sure to celebrate by christening every surface of his apartment. He had never done anything so exciting before. They were careful with Ben and his leg, but the blond was more than willing to be bent this way and that way. He was a willing partner and Joe couldn’t be happier.  
  
At least he was until she showed up.   
  
To be completely honest, Joe had forgotten all about her. He stopped answer any messages from anybody. His main focus was Ben now and while he would come and go for work, emails were the only things he would answer.   
  
Joe was in the shower when she showed up. He asked Ben to join him, practically begged, but the blond declined, stating it wouldn’t be big enough for them both and with his boot showering was a pain in the ass. Joe would help bath him, kiss his shoulders as he washed his back. It was sweet and romantic, but now wasn’t that time for that. Joe just wanted to clean up.  
  
He was calling to him from the bathroom, running a towel along his head to dry his hair. Ben stopped answering him and Joe exited the bathroom to repeat his question.   
  
She was standing there in the doorway, her eyes wide with shock. Ben was on the bed and while he was no longer being tied up, that didn’t mean anything to her. The ties could be seen on the bedpost and while to some it would just look like proof of a certain kink, Joe knew exactly what they were for.   
  
And so did Ben. Ben, whose ankle and wrist was bruised from being tied up, stared at the woman with bright, alert eyes.  
  
“What the hell are you doing here?” Joe demanded, moving deeper into the room.  
  
The dark-haired woman stepped forward, looking between the two. “You weren’t answering my calls. My texts.”   
  
“I was busy.”   
  
“I can see that.” The brunette’s eyes fell onto Ben and Joe swiftly moved to stand in her line of gaze. “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your little friend?”   
  
“Who he is doesn’t concern you.”   
  
“Ben.” The blond called from the bed. “My name is Ben.”   
  
“Ben.” She mimicked. She returned her gaze back to her boyfriend. “How long?”   
  
“Not long enough,” Joe answered her. “Don’t look so sad. I’m sure your boss has been keeping you company while we were apart.”   
  
“Shame. If I had known you swung both ways, you could have joined us.” She replied coldly.   
  
“Sorry. I don’t share.” Joe mentioned, his jaw clenching. He moved onto the bed, going to sit back beside his blond. He turned his head, nuzzling against him. He felt calmer when Ben by his side, even if their secret heaven was currently being invaded by a demon. “You can go now.”   
  
“Leave,” Ben told her, his voice tight.   
  
Joe reached forward, lacing their fingers together. He brought Ben’s hand up to his mouth, kissing the back of it softly.   
  
Joe looked back to his now ex-girlfriend. The brunette looked between the two men, nodding slowly before turning on her heel and leaving the room. At the sound of the door slamming closed, Joe turned his head and kissed his man soundly.   
  
</3  
  
It was later that same day that life was as perfect as it could get. That woman was gone from his life and Ben and Joe was together. They were kissing on the bed, making out senselessly. Joe left like he was walking on cloud none and it was only going to get better.   
  
He knew they were going to have sex. They did every night. Slow and deep or rough and fast. Joe would top the beautiful blond and have him crying out in pleasure. Joe would mutter the sweetest things to him, reminding him how happy he was with him by his side.   
  
He promised to always make him happy or die trying. And Joe didn’t break his promises. He had thought of it a time or two if things did not go his way. He would never cause any true pain to Ben but if ending it all for them both was the only way to keep them together, then he’d make that call.   
  
But now he didn’t have to. They were together. Kissing and touching and holding.   
  
And Joe wanted more.   
  
He had run some test while at work. He took some samples from Ben while he slept and checked on himself while in his office. They were both clean, something that made Joe’s heart soar.   
  
He loved the idea of knowing that Ben would be the one and the only man inside of him. He wouldn’t be tainted by the seed of another former lover. He would be Ben’s in every which way.   
  
When they were lying in bed, Joe had been straddling him as they kissed, slowly removing this piece of clothing and that piece of clothing until they were both naked save for the medical boot Ben was wearing.   
  
Joe rolled them over carefully until he was lying underneath the blond man. “I’m yours,” Joe told him quietly. “Make me yours fully.”   
  
A glance of understanding came to Ben’s head and while Joe would normally do what he could do prep Ben, grabbing the lube and fingering him until he was ready, Ben didn’t try in the least.   
  
He flipped Joe over until the man was laying on his stomach. Joe’s face was flush with excitement as Ben pulled his hips up so he was on his knees. Ben’s fingers ran along his ass and a harsh slap of his hand fell along with his cheeks.  
  
It made Joe jump, but he didn’t hate it.   
  
He could hear Ben spitting behind him, making his cock slick and ready for him. There was no prepping. No fingering. With his cock wet enough for his own pleasure, Ben gripped onto Joe’s hips and thrust inside him.   
  
It was not what Joe expected. It was tight and rough. Joe’s hole stretched forcefully as Ben pounded into him from behind. There was an obvious amount of pain, but it was overpowered by the sheer pleasure he was feeling.   
  
With his face pressed against his sheets, Joe cried out, all the while his free hand tugged on his cock, jerking himself off as Ben slammed into him again and again. The room was filled with groans and shouts and words of love.   
  
Joe finished against his sheets and he begged the blond to finish inside him. Ben was practically on top of him, his arm wrapped around his middle as he continued to fuck into him. When he came, it was deep inside of Joe. It felt strange and wet and Joe turned his head to mouth as Ben’s jaw, kissing him desperately.   
  
“I love you. I love you. Fuck, fuck fuck, I love you.” He breathed, turning away from the man as he breathed heavily.   
  
Ben sat up from the bed, going to stand and tower over him. Joe rolled over, facing him. Ben’s expression was unreadable. Was he happy? Did he hate this man? Maybe it was both. Joe opened his mouth to speak but never got to speak.   
  
There was a knock on the door and for the first time since they met, Joe wasn’t faster than Ben.   
  
The blond answered it carefully, all too aware of his own nudity as he did so. A police officer was standing before him, flushed at the sight of the man with his chest and cock out. Joe left the bed, looking between the two and fearing the worst.   
  
“I was hoping we could have a little chat.” The officer mentioned. He was talking to Ben.  
  
Joe swallowed hard, his eyes falling on the bat that was hanging up on the wall. Ben came forward, gesturing for the officer to sit while he leads Joe back into the bedroom. Ben pushed him back onto the bed while he searched for his clothing.   
  
“Ben,” Joe spoke, his voice caught in his throat. “Benny, please.”   
  
“I’ll be right back,” Ben said after dressing.   
  
He left Joe alone in the bedroom. He wasn’t sure how long he was there and when the door finally opened again, he expected it to be the police officer. He expected to be cuffed and brought down to the station. He expected this to all be over and he’d have nothing left. Not his life. Not his medical license. Not his Ben.   
  
Instead, it was Ben who opened the door, coming to kneel before him on the bed. “I told them the truth.” He confessed to Joe.   
  
The copper-haired man let out a strangled breath, his eyes welling up.   
  
Ben reached out placing his hand on Joe’s knee. “I told him you’d never hurt me. And that what she saw was a misunderstanding.”   
  
Joe’s eyes widened and he leaned forward, kissing his boyfriend madly. Ben didn’t kiss him back and instead leaned away. “Joe,” He muttered. “You love me.”   
  
“I do.” He swore. “I love you so, so much. I’d do anything for you.”   
  
“Anything?”   
  
Joe gave a stiff nod. “Anything.” He repeated.   
  
Ben looked at him for a long moment, that gorgeous green eyes boring into his soul. “Then let me go.” He told him. “You love me, Joe. But now it’s time I love myself without you by my side.”   
  
Ben reached forward, cupping his cheek. His expression had softened and he was holding onto Joe carefully. “I need you to let me go. You freed me from my own prison. Now it is time for me to find my way on my own.”   
  
“I won’t survive without you,” Joe told him.   
  
He wouldn’t. How could he? He had done unthinkable acts for Ben. He killed a man. He cheated on his girlfriend. He would do anything for him, but letting him go? It was a fate worse than jail.   
  
Ben just laughed, shaking his head. “I know.” He answered him.   
  
Ben leaned forward, kissing him softly. Joe deepened it, needing Ben to know that what he said was true. He loved him and couldn’t live without him.   
  
When Ben pulled away, he stood up, his hand still on his cheek. When he released him and turned away, he didn’t say anything. When he walked out of the place, he didn’t even say goodbye.   
  
And only when Joe was lying on the bed, subsuming to his anguish as he cried out over his own broken heart did he realize that the words Ben spoke were from the script currently sitting on his nightstand.   
  
Ben really was one hell of an actor. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've seen a whole bunch of people commenting that Ben is dealing with Stockholm Syndrome. To be completely honest, I do see why as the actual definition for it is that a person being held captive makes a psychological alliance with the person holding them hostage for the sake of survival, which it exactly is. 
> 
> Everything Ben does is for his own survival. He doesn't love Joe and he isn't necessarily falling for him. He is doing what he has to in order to survive. Staying on Joe's good side and such. I haven't done too in-depth with Ben's side of the story but that will arrive in the next chapter and you see more into Ben's personal life where you see he is just as lonely as Joe is and sometimes loneliness can make you do desperate things.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it. Please proceed with caution.

Ben lasted a month without Joe by his side and what a strange month it was. He went to an actual doctor to get his leg checked. The doctor was impressed by how much care had gone into it, stating that the person who worked on Ben went to extra lengths to make his leg healed properly.

When asked who it was he saw, he mentioned that it was just a doctor at the hospital. He didn’t get their name.

They were impressed nonetheless and explained that with the boot, he’d heal in no time. He told him to take regular drug store pain killers if he was uncomfortable. Ben was no way addicted, but he missed the injections Joe used to give him, allowing him to feel nothing.

Ben tried to tell himself that the pain he felt was just a reminder of what he survived. That he was able to outsmart the madman escape with his life. Ben was certainly one way or another, Joe would have been the death of him.

And yet he couldn’t stop the emptiness that he felt. He knew it was wrong. Joe was a monster who hurt so many people, whether it was physically or emotionally. He was abusive and took advantage of Ben. He shouldn’t be thought of in a good light.

And yet Ben found himself lying in bed, nearly missing the man as he tried to sleep. Ben was back to being on his own, back to caring for himself. No longer did he have any more to care for him. To fight for him and make him feel good. No one to hold him as he slept.

Ben had been so lonely for so long that he didn’t even realize just how lonely until he was back on his own.

He was used to selling himself. To turn himself into exactly what somebody else wanted. He knew he looked good and knew he could play the part that they wanted him to play. He had been doing it for so long he had nearly forgotten what it was like to just be himself.

And in some twisted sense, that’s exactly who he was when he was with Joe. He could be angry and pissed, but Joe still showed him as much kindness as ever. Ben tried to convince himself that it was all in his head. That Joe was insane and that getting away was for the best.

That woman, Ben never got her name, saw through the mask that Ben had put on. She was more perceptive than the copper-haired man gave her credit for. She sent the police there and Ben did what he had to do. He kept Joe from getting arrested, kept him from harm because Ben knew if things went down south, it wouldn’t be good for anybody involved.

He had left and things were better now. Or at least that was what Ben had been trying to convince himself as the days went on.

His profile was gone and all he had now was the role that Joe helped him to land but even that wasn’t enough. He had gone to rehearsal, finding that the role was more than he first anticipated. The director pulled him aside, telling Ben that he seemed to be lacking.

“The drive you had when you first walked through the door. Passion. It’s gone, Ben. If you want this role, this part, find that drive once more.”

How was Ben supposed to tell this man that the drive he had was his ache to survive? That Joe had constantly kept him on his toes and kept him in check? Ben never knew if Joe would kill again. Or more so, he would never know if he was going to kill him next.

Joe swore he loved him endlessly but did that also mean he would be the one of ending him? Ben never really knew if that was a possibility. In the darkness, he found himself searching for that love. That needy passion that Joe brought out in him.

Was the sex really worth the looming doom that he could perhaps one day find someone else? Ben didn’t know anymore. He felt like he didn’t know anything anymore.

As he sat alone in his home, which didn’t even feel like his home anymore, Ben went over everything he had lost. Everything Joe had taken from him.

Even with his freedom, he still felt the weight that Joe carried over him. He thought over time he would shake from it, but the longer he stayed away, the more he realized the effect was real. Joe would always have a piece of Ben and the blond realized it was time he got a piece of Joe.

He didn’t know how he found it. Maybe it was muscle memory or maybe he always knew where to go. He walked up the stairs, finding the all too familiar door staring right back at him. In his hand was a bat of his own, purchased just for the occasion.

He knocked once, and then again. He waited, thinking nobody would answer. He hadn’t heard from Joe in so long, who knew if the man was even still alive.

When he opened the door, the hazel eyes that haunted Ben’s dreams opened wide with surprise. “Ben.” How breathed in shock.

“Hey buddy,” Ben replied and with a swift hit with the bat, he knocked the man unconscious.

</3

Joe did think of killing himself. Of ending it all. What kind of life would he be living without the love of his life by his side? It wasn’t worth it anymore. He was worse off than he had at the beginning of his story. Sad and alone with a broken heart.

He thought of it constantly. Of taking all the morphine pills he stole and swallowing them down. Of letting his body rot in his apartment before anybody even noticed. It would be an okay fate.

But something told him to wait, to hold on. The false hope that he clung to endlessly, that his Benny would return to him. He waited a day in and day out for it to happen and when it finally did, he could barely believe his eyes. Perhaps he was dreaming. The angel of a man returning to his side, returning so they could be together.

The pain in his head didn’t matter. He didn’t even care about it. When he woke, he was face to face with his ceiling. Lying back on his bed, he found his arms and legs tied to his bedpost, perfectly mirroring how he had Ben set up after their first date.

Except for this time, the roles were reversed and his clothing was gone.

Ben was standing at the edge of the bed, his expression twisted every which way. “Ben,” Joe breathed out, trying to reach for him.

“I tried to forget you, but I couldn’t,” Ben told him darkly. “I tried to move on, but it was impossible. You infected my mind, Joseph.”

“You missed me,” Joe replied, leaning up slightly. “I’ve missed you so much, Ben.”

“I almost lost my role. They said I lost my drive and if I didn’t get it back, I would be replaced.” Ben moved closer, crawling onto the bed. He straddled Joe carefully, and only now did Joe realize Ben was just as naked as he was. “You awakened something inside of me, Joe. Something I can no longer deny.”

Joe felt it too. The undying need to be with this man. He knew it was dangerous. Maybe they’d both be the end to each other. When Ben smiled to him, it was one filled with hate and disdain, but also one full of love and acceptance.

They were together again. And as Ben leaned in, Joe struggled to meet him the rest of the way, to finally kiss him after so, so long.

“I’m in charge now, Joseph.” He told him quietly, his eyes wide as his hand wrapped around his hardening cock. “My turn.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're happy with this ending. It was either this or one killing the other and I don't think I could have been pleased with murder for this specific story. In the end, Ben (while slightly saner) is just as selfish as Joe and as a human being, craves to be loved and cared for. He knows what he has to do in order to have those things. Will he hurt Joe? Probably. But Joe will like it. 
> 
> I don't know what I have planned next. Angels to Fly will update....eventually. I don't know. The author is a teacher so real life comes first, but rest assured, something will be posted eventually. 
> 
> Until then, lovely readers.

**Author's Note:**

> The mood board was created by Real---Remy on tumblr, so please follow them.
> 
> You can also follow myself: WriteYourOwnLifeStory on tumblr. 
> 
> Say hi!


End file.
